


when we could run away

by DesertLily



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e18 Juno Steel and the Final Resting Place, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Juno Steel Needs a Hug, Juno Steel is in Love, Juno goes with Nureyev, M/M, POV Juno Steel, Season/Series 01, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Juno Steel has always been afraid of putting himself first, so what happens on the one time that he does?OrJuno is convinced to leave with Nureyev at the end of season one.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	when we could run away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Queerbutstillhere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerbutstillhere/gifts).



> A fic for a friend!!

Juno Steel had a relationship with his own self worth that could only be described as ‘complicated’. He was a lady of many talents and looking after himself still had yet to be one of them. He struggled to think of a time when he  _ hadn’t _ been self-destructive; hadn’t tried to ruin every good thing in his life. Even before losing Ben, his life had been full of questionable tendencies that only grew worse after. 

Almost all of his relationships - platonic and romantic had suffered at his inability to accept nice things. The unworn wedding dress collecting dust at the back of his wardrobe was a reminder of how terribly his relationship with Diamond had gone. No matter how much he tried to tell himself otherwise, falling out of contact with Mick and Sasha was absolutely an act of his vocation. 

The only person who refused to ever leave was his  _ secretary _ of all people. Not that he minded Rita that much - she was good as his best friend. She also remained one of the only people that had no issues with calling Juno out on his bullshit. She made sure he understood that tragically, people  _ did _ care about him. People did want him to be happy. His office - well,  _ former office _ \- was one of those things. Rita had bought it for him because she believed in him when nobody else had. That was something that lingered with Juno above all else. 

It was his self-destructive tendencies that left Juno so scared when he met Rex Glass because he had never gotten so caught up in someone so quickly. But Glass...Glass had all but swept him off of his feet in an instant. He was charming in the most dangerous of ways and wasn’t that just what Juno wanted? 

But then...then it turned out Rex Glass wasn’t even real. Instead, there was a thief named Peter Nureyev that had managed to steal both the mask of Grimpotheuthis and the heart of Juno Steel. How...inconvenient. What was even more inconvenient was the way Nureyev’s kiss haunted him. Even when he was kissing Alessandra Strong, it was only ever someone else’s lips he could feel against his own. 

Juno hadn’t expected himself to have the pleasure -displeasure? - of meeting Peter Nureyev again yet it seemed fate had other ideas as their paths crossed neatly. Juno was investigating ancient Martian artefacts and Nureyev was very keen to keep one from his (former) employer’s hands. Thus Duke and Dahlia Rose came into being. He would be lying if he said there wasn’t some  _ thrill _ to robbing a train (even if he ignored everything he felt at playing the role of Nureyev’s wife).

Things had rather promptly gone to absolute shit after that and honestly? Juno would really rather not think about everything that had happened with Miasama. Instead, he wanted to think about where he was now; sprawled on a hotel bed next to the sleeping form of the man he loved. 

His eye stayed fixated on Nureyev as a million thoughts raced through his head, because Juno had agreed to leave Mars with him. He’d agreed to leave everything behind and go running off with the thief without a name. And honestly?  _ Juno wanted to go _ . He wanted the freedom that would come from leaving Mars and the love that would come from every second spent in Nureyev’s arms. 

But Juno Steel was self-destructive. 

Like a festering wound, thoughts claiming to be logic began to slither into the back of his mind. He could do more good if he stayed in Hyperion City. He could help people if he stayed. He was just being selfish if he left. He-    
  
“Juno?” He hadn’t even realised he’d moved to stand until Nureyev grabbed his arm. “Darling, what’s wrong?” And God, didn’t his voice make Juno absolutely weak at the knees? Though, that weakness may in part be due to...other things that had occurred earlier that night. 

Juno was silent for a few moments as he tried to find a way to word his thoughts. “I-I should go…” He didn’t have to look back to see the way Nureyev stilled besides him. “I shouldn’t just drop everything and leave. It’s a bad idea and I should know! Most of my ideas are. I...I can’t leave.” 

He slumped back slightly as a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. “Says who?” Juno let his head rest against Nureyev’s chest, not even trying to pull away. “Who says you have to stay? There are so few things keeping you here. You...You said you wanted to leave with me, detective.” A hesitation filled his voice at the final statement. 

“And I do!” Juno spoke with nothing but certainty because he did want to go. He wanted to go more than he had ever wanted anything in his love. “But I have to stay here. I-I could do so much good here. Help so many people…” But the words grew more and more half-hearted as he spoke. Did...Did he really want to stay? Or was he just trying to force a reason to? 

Evidently, Nureyev believed the latter. “Juno.” His voice was patient as he waited until he met his eye before continuing. “Hyperion City has done nothing but pollute everyone that lives within it. Staying here...It’ll kill you, detective. Look how close it’s gotten already. It’s not your job to try and fix it. It’s your job to be happy.”

He wasn’t wrong and Juno hated that he wasn’t wrong. He didn’t protest as Nureyev gently pulled him to lay back down. “..I mean, technically my job is being a PI.” Juno couldn’t help but laugh as he was shoved lightly before settling on the bed. “...What if I regret it?” 

“What if you don’t?” 

That was how Juno Steel found himself falling asleep in the arms of the man he loved on his last night on Mars. Come morning, he’d leave his name behind with his old life as he finally let himself be free. The only regret Juno ever had was leaving Rita behind with next to no explanation. Even then, a few years down the line, Duke and Dahlia Rose found themselves becoming acquainted with a space pirate crew with an  _ extremely _ familiar hacker. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he was truly happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr!


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